My name is Lou Finkle...and THIS is Conspiracy Theory
ANCHOR BABIES: Are space aliens taking over our planet?
Now, because of our elections here in the greatest country on Earth, America! And don't you forget it! A lot of people are talking about others coming across our border.
Well, I'm here to tell you there's a greater threat to America than immigrants...it's aliens from outer space taking our women hostage and impregnating them with their alien goo!
I first learned about this from my friend Bubba. He's a truck driver and he stays out on the road for months and months. And when he came back home, his wife had a baby.
Well, I went over there to say happy baby day or whatever you suppose to say and I looked it. And when I say it...damnit, I mean it! That was the ugliest baby I'd ever seen in my life. I turned to Bubba and asked him are you sure this baby is yours and not some swamp creature or somethin'?
He didn't take to kindly to that and punched me in the face.
I said "You can punch me all you want, but that kid isn't human...I think it's some kind of space alien baby. I'm getting out of here before it starts to anal probe."
You can't tell me them space aliens don't anal probe. I seen those movies. The space aliens come down from this ship and walks into a bar and the next thing you know...anal probe!
See, what they want to do is repopulate this planet with their alien hybrids and steal out natural resources. Now, I don't know what they want. It could be our rocks, it could be our water, it could be Jerry Seinfeld.
Yes, Jerry Seinfeld.
Those damn aliens would love to come to this planet and give Jerry Seinfeld an anal probe.
So, for the love of God, keep watching the sky. And keep an eye on Jerry Seinfeld's anus.
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