Hello! I am Frank Finkle 3000 and I have a Conspiracy Theory.
Is there such a thing as an ILLEGITIMATE PRESIDENT?
My guest today is...is this right?...are you a hole?
"That's right, buddy! I'm a hole."
But, I don't understand. Why am I interviewing a hole?
"You see, I'm not just any hole. I'm the hole that's in Democracy. Every once in awhile, a criminal comes along and sees me, and then they use me."
But, I don't understand. We are talking about illegitimate presidents.
"So am I."
But, what kind of hole is in Democracy?
"Hahahahaha.
Well, I'm everywhere. You'll be surprised how many of me there are. Did you know there's no rule that says you can't be a robot and be president?"
I didn't know that?
"Yeah, there's holes everywhere in civilization. In fact, out of all the countries in the world in the history of time, there's ALWAYS been a hole in every government. Even in a Monarchy."
So, you're saying this Conspiracy Theory of an illegitimate president is false, because what every president does is find the holes in Democracy and puts their finger in you?
"Hey, hey, hey! What 'ya trying call me?"
I am only saying they see you and...anyway...do you like bagels? I can stick one in your hole?
"Yeah, I'll stick one in your hole, stupid!"
This show was brought to you by Maury's House Of Bagels. Think bagels, think Maury.
