"Conspiracy Theory" with Frank Finkle (Bilderberg Group)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*

I'm Frank Finkle and this is my Conspiracy Theory.
Does the BILDERBERG GROUP control the world economy?
In answering letters the other day, I was told that no believable conspiracy theorist can talk about anything without bringing up The Bilderberg Group.
So, I decided to interview them today with a little help from Mickey Mouse.

Hold on. I'm trying to call them.....abra cadabra! Hocus Pocus! Open Sesame!

Ahhhhhhhhhh


Hey, I did it.

I am the great and powerful BILDERBERG.

My name is Frank Finkle, Bilderberg. Can I ask you some questions?

It's not about Game Of Thrones is it?

No, I never watch that show.

Good, because I'm sick of people asking me about that. I might be evil, but I don't have anything to do with basic cable.

Well...that's ok...Can I ask you if you control the world economy?

Money, huh?...just so I'm clear....you want to ask someone as powerful as I am about something as trivial as your little peasant scraps you call money?

Well, yes? Don't you have secret meetings every year?

Secret meetings?...Did you say secret meetings?

Yes?

How did you hear about it? Was it a talk radio host?

No, I saw it on the internet.

Oh, you saw it on the internet?...Yeah, so ask me again about this SECRET meeting you think we have?

What do you talk about?

I invite people who want to make the planet safe for all humans. Such as climate change.

I don't believe in climate change.

Oh, well I guess you won't be invited will you?

What else do you talk about?

Brexit...you know we're going to kill some people over that one, right?

Not world dominance?

World dominance, you say?...Have you been to Detroit?...Do you want to dominate a city like that? Imagine the world is 100 Detroits. We are ALL powerful, but we are not ALL stupid.

Well, that's understandable. So we don't need to fear you?

No.

Thank you, Bilderberg. You've opened my eyes to something.

What?...was that a joke about my eye, motherf*****?

Tune in tomorrow, when my next guest will be one of those princesses from one of those movies you saw. And don't forget to eat at Maury's House Of Bagels. When you think Maury...think bagels.

Say, how do I hang the phone up?

Don't ever call me again.