I'm Frank Finkle and this is my Conspiracy Theory.
Can a SUPER-COMPUTER predict the future?
My guest today is non other than a learned professional in science and how all of this gobbledy goop works, it's Professor Ludwig Von Drake. Thanks for coming Professor.
Yaaawnn....tsk, tsk...have you started the show already?
Yes, Professor. I have. Can you tell us how a super-computer works?
Well, you see, a supercomputer operates on 128k teraflops, you see?
A what you say?
Oh, I forgot I was talking to a stupid talk show host.
You see, a flop is how many functions a computer can do in one single second. And a supercomputer can do 128,000 different functions per second. And in doing so, can create patterns that may predict future events.
Wow, that's amazing!
Yes, I took the liberty of entering in some information about you Mr. Finkle and let's see what it says.
Wow!
"I am HAL 9000. How may I help you?"
Yes, HAL. Predict Frank Finkle's future.
"Waiting....done."
That was fast, Professor.
"Frank Finkle will be a talk show host for 3 years."
That's great!
"Until his wife cheats on him."
What?
"She will change her name to Gloria."
No! Say it's not true!
"That is the name Juan Carlos likes to call her after sex. He will say 'Give me that sweet ass...Gloria'."
Turn it off, Turn it off!
Would you like to hear when you're going to go to prison for tax evasion?
TURN IT OFF!
Get the Hell out of here you quack!
By the way, eat at Maury's House Of Bagels...get out of here!
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