1. Do you remember Cicciolina?
It probably depends on your age. You don’t have to be that old to remember the escapades of that particular woman. She was born in 1951 and began her career at age 22 with a radio program sporting the title “Would You Like to Sleep With Me Tonight?” With her ample bosom, this Hungarian-born, onetime porn star (born Ilona Staller) surprised Italians by being elected to their parliament in 1987. Anything can happen in the state of spaghetti.
However, anyone thinking sex was the only thing on her mind would be completely wrong. In 1990, on the eve of the Gulf War, she declared that she was placing herself at the disposal of the struggle against Saddam Hussein’s Iraq. In response to journalists’ questions, she declared a willingness to have sex with Hussein in order to achieve peace in the Middle East. She made a similar offer to Osama bin Laden in 2006.
If those two had accepted her proposal, who knows what the fates of these arch-murderers might have been. Maybe Islamic State (also known as ISIS or ISIL) would never have been born.
2. Unconnected to the abovementioned characters, two of the biggest Jewish billionaires – Haim Saban and Sheldon Adelson – appeared on television recently. One of them is an Israeli who made it big by developing a TV franchise with toys [“Power Rangers”], while the other got rich by operating a string of casinos. One supports the Democrats; the other favors the Republicans. In a joint appearance, slathered in brilliantine and fancy attire, the duo declared that a private gathering of Israeli donors had met in Las Vegas in order to develop a new strategy for combating the BDS movement.
The two of them resemble those old guys from “The Muppet Show.” These two billionaires, who grease U.S. politicians all the way up to the level of president, give a bad name to both Jews and Israelis. When you look at them, your brain has to work overtime in order to ignore that anti-Semitic slur that Jews can buy anything with money. These two still have something to learn from Cicciolina: she only offered her body.
3. While we’re busying ourselves with trivial matters such as who’s stronger, Benjamin Netanyahu or Barack Obama, the Israeli government was hit by an unexpected development earlier this week: The U.S. Supreme Court effectively overturned a law passed by Congress, which stated that Jerusalem is the capital of Israel. Apparently, U.S. courts are also influenced by prevailing winds in the United States and around the world. For years, many of us were under the impression that the all-powerful Congress had decided to move the U.S. Embassy to Jerusalem. It’s now clear that political decisions in Washington are made by the president and not Congress.
However, Israel is preoccupied with MK Oren Hazan(Likud). It’s unclear whether we should laugh or cry. This guy, number 30 on Likud’s Knesset slate, managed to get a seat in parliament and was immediately appointed to five committees, as well as becoming deputy speaker. After the election results came in, he was the first to jump onto the stage on which Bibi stood and did what no one had ever dared do before: hug Sara Netanyahu. He instantly gave the impression he was the star of the victory. His toothy grin never froze, even when an investigative report by Channel 2 TV revealed his alleged past dealings with casinos, drugs, soliciting prostitutes, and who knows what else. Hazan doesn’t really care – between the smiles and kissing every mezuzah he walks past in the Knesset, he maintains that none of this is true. Whether true or false, the man has become some kind of hero. He was received at Likud Central Committee the other day as if he were the next prime minister.
Netanyahu considered Hazan a problem, damaging both his image and that of the Knesset. He looked for a way out. And where did he find one? None other than opposition leader Isaac Herzog (Zionist Union). Instead of exploiting the opportunity and toppling the coalition, the one who shouted with all his manliness “F**** off” [in a behind-the-scenes documentary]extended a hand to Netanyahu. With opposition leaders such as these, we’re lost.
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