Wait! I am Frank Finkle 3000 and this is my Conspiracy Theory.
Is MELANIA TRUMP being abused by Donald Trump?
I caught up with Melania Trump while she was in town at one of her husbands many golf courses.
-------------recorded 09Nov16-------------------------
Hello, Melania Trump?
"Ist this und interview? Dis ist nix der right time."
I just have a few question and I'll be out of your hair...which smells very nice by the way.
"Danke. my husband does not hate Mexicans."
No, I don't want to ask about Mexico. My question is very personal.
"Oh yes, my husband doesn't like Russian hooker piss."
No, I was going to ask you something else.
"Oh yes, my husband loves being president of...what country ist this again?"
America.
"Yes, my husband enjoys your country very much."
Mrs. Trump, does your husband abuse you?
"He does not hit me. Why would you say that? HE DOES NOT HIT ME...on Tuesdays."
Wait, are you saying he does hit you?
"What day ist it today?
Tuesday.
"Oh lord....oh my lord...."
Should I call somebody?
"Yes, call Olga our Russia maid and tell her it's code 49."
What is that?
"She will know what it is. You better ran before we get the urine all over you. Go!"
It was nice to talk to you Melania Trump.
"Go! The urine gets everywhere!"
Speaking of urine...have you tried Maury's House Of Bagels? When you think bagels, think Maury.
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