I'm Frank Finkle and this is my Conspiracy Theory.
Is Middle East democracy another word for DICTATORSHIP?
My guest today is the leader of the Qatari military, General Tso's Chicken.
"I am glad to be here, Mr. Finkle. And before you ask me, yes, Qatar is a democracy."
Well, how do you define that?
"We are...we have a healthcare system....we have cars...ahhh....we have a Pizza Hut."
To be fair, General Tso, a Pizza Hut isn't a sign of democracy. It's just something that comes from a democracy. Can your citizens vote?
"What do you mean?"
Can they walk into a place no matter male or female and cast their vote for a candidate?
"Oh, you mean like in America?"
Yes!
"Let me ask you something, Mr. Finkle, can I walk into a place and cast my vote for anyone?"
If you are a citizen.
"What if I don't have an I.D.?"
Then no, you can't vote.
"What if I have been to prison?"
No, you can't vote.
"What if they tell me their computers say I am dead, but I am standing in front of them with my I.D. and have my birth certificate in my hand?"
No, you still can't vote.
"So...what makes America a democracy?"
Well, you see...
"Did I mention we have free gas for everyone? Free gas."
You've got free gas over there? That's great!!!
"Yes, Pizza Hut isn't as good as it used to be."
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