I'm Frank Finkle and this is my Conspiracy Theory.
Is the Zika Virus a bio-weapon created in a lab to attack Brazil?
My guest today is Mr. Salty.
I'm not Mr. Salty, I'm Mr. Peanut.
Are you? Well who's Mr. Salty?
That's the pretzel guy. I've always been Mr. Peanut.
So, are you responsible for the Zika Virus?
Why on Earth would I create a virus, Finkle?
For the nuts!
Oh...somethings nuts alright...but it's not me, Finkle.
It has to be a bio-weapon. There was no such thing as a Zika virus for hundreds and hundreds of years and then before the Olympics, there's a life altering threat in the country.
Planters Nuts is a proud company that looks after the well being of all it's customers, Finkle.
Now, did you ask Peter Pan?
No?...why?
I'm not saying that guys not playing with a full deck, he's kid that doesn't age and he makes peanut butter. I'm not saying he could be the Zika guy, but he does hang out with a fairy...
Oh, yeah.
I don't judge, mind you...but in my day, we didn't let fairies in the factory. They worked in the mail room and answered the phones. You should look into that, Finkle.
Yeah...I will. Do you think I'm onto a real Conspiracy this time, Mr. Salty?
What the fuck did you call me?
I mean, Mr. Peanut.
Tune in next time when my guest will be Peter Pan.
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