I'm a talent agent with Finkle & Finkle and I know things about celebrities.
Listen, I've been around a long time in Hollywood and I've met loads and loads of people in the entertainment industry. And I know all their secrets.
Who do you want to know about first. How about Jennifer Aniston?
Axe murderer.
Every time she goes on location for a movie, she brings an axe. She does it to unwind after a long day of filming a movie. Some people drink, some people do drugs, Jennifer likes to cruise around town and find random strangers and just kills 'em with an axe. They never catch her...I don't know how, it's Jennifer Aniston for God's sakes.
But, it's nothing like Morgan Freeman.
Russian sex slaves!
Yes, I was at his house one time and here comes a bunch of naked women walking around with a bowl of cookies. Well, what was I suppose to do say NO to Morgan Freedom when he offers me a cookie? He's a great actor.
I didn't stick around to see the sex...you know why?
Respect.
And I left my glasses in the car...but mostly respect.
Listen, I hear the phone ringing. It must be one of my many famous clients trying to get in touch with me. I don't blame them. Visit this blog next time and I'll tell you how Whoopi Goldberg accidentally grabbed my penis.
Long story/short...it was in a hot dog bun and I told her it was a foot long.
(Sam Irving writes for Pirate Radio)
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