Inside the FINKLE Writer's Room (PLANET OF THE FINKLE)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*



On the next episode of PLANET OF THE FINKLE...



"Dad, I've been arrested for shoplifting."



"Your mother told me...where's your brother?"



"He was with me."



"He, he, he. Profiling is a bitch ain't it, Susan."



Next time on PLANET OF THE FINKLE!

"Changing Expectations" with Sebatian Finkle

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*



Good evening PEASANTS, as the writer of many critic reviews, I too have come to an insight towards movie trends. And the current trend is "Changing Expectations".
If you "expect" the actor to be one way, then "expect" the actor to not be that way at all.
For example:



Okay, now tell us why you should play in our new SUPERGIRL movie?



Well, I've been playing the part for 4 seasons on television. Doesn't that count?



Notice how the "Actor" thinks they deserve something logical in an entertainment business. And that's when the trend begins:



Our new movie will change thing up. For starters, your Super-girl suit is going to be superpowered by magic.



You see, there's no such thing as lazy writers if you use the word MAGIC.



I don't see how that would work. I mean, Supergirl is the one with the super powers, right?



Not in the Disney inspired universe. We're changing her to a space alien who's really a spy sent to Earth to learn our ways and rule over humans.



But, that's not a superhero! Why would you change Supergirl to be something she's not at all? Think about her fans.



Justice League...no Supergirl. The Superman movies never once mention Supergirl. In fact, this movie is a commentary on why Supergirl doesn't have fans in the first place...So, you still want to audition?



Okay, sure. What do you want me to do?



First thing we need you to do is pretend you're a Black woman. Nobody wants to see blonde space aliens. And one more thing...how do you feel about showing a nipple?



Why?....Why do they do it...why only ONE nipple? My name is Sebastian Finkle, and I am a movie critic.

Inside the FINKLE Writer's Room (HECKLERS)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*



I think this Finkle show of yours is starting to get some weird hecklers. Don't you remember that guy who put a boulder in our kitchen?



What the Hell is that?



I mean, he was confused. We never made jokes about Eskimos! But he was so crazy, that he put a boulder in our house.



Look you...we don't make jokes like that. Now get this rock out of our house!



After a while he apologized, but then...



Hey, is that a horse in our living room?



Oh my God!...What are you feeding him?

Finkle Theory (TELL DON'T SHOW)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*



In a few hours, we'll have Epstein out of prison and he'll be safe and sound at home. We didn't need to kill him after all.



Now listen closely. Don't show the press Epstein on a stretcher and call it a dead body. Just let the story play out in the media. We're gonna call this OPERATION: TELL DON'T SHOW...



Yes sir. I'll inform the guards to turn off the security cameras.



No...on second thought. LEAVE THE CAMERAS ON. Just in case Epstein thinks about writing a book. Leave all the cameras on.

Inside the FINKLE Writer's Room (PARTY-LINE)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*



Yeah, it's true. The Finkle blog is back on. What about it?



"Well, me and my friend on the PARTY-LINE were wanting to know because we used to read it a long time ago and we didn't see it anymore."



"We remember when you were funny."



Party-Line? Yeah, we know. It's not our fault...it's Google.



"Oh, did they stop the show?"



"Did they stop you from being funny?"



Say?....who is this?



"Oh, I'm sorry if we insulted you. It's raining outside and the museum is closed."



So?



"Well, this show is like a museum. This is where jokes go to die, isn't it?"

Finkle Theory (FAKING A DEATH)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*



You want to fake a death, huh?...Sure. But, we can't just tell people it's suicide on the first try! What you gotta do is pretend that you're capable of doin' it FIRST.



How about we put him in the same prison that a high profile criminal was able to escape from?



That's a damn good idea, but we have to fake this death like we did all the others. Have a guard find him.



Should the guard find Epstein hanged or dead already?



Shit, it doesn't matter. The public just wants to hear Epstein is dead. They won't care how.



Alright...I'll get the boys to think up a story and we'll secretly get Epstein out the front door.

Finkle Theory (JEFFERY EPSTEIN)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*

It began on a Tuesday...

So...how would YOU do it? How would you kill Jeffery Epstein?

Do you WANT Epstein dead? He's your friend, Edgar.

Well, Jeffery knows things. And he could talk to people.

Jeffery doesn't want to talk to anybody. He has nothing to gain from talking. Why don't you just get him out of prison.

You can't just get a man out of prison...we would need a good reason for it. Like a AMAZINGLY good reason.

Why don't you fake a injury? Or...I don't know...a suicide. 

You mean what we did with Timothy McVeigh? FAKE A DEATH...yes that'd work. You're a genius, darling.