Monday, February 2, 2015

Is HOCKEY a sport?



Hockey's just one of those sports I can't get into to save my life. In the words of George Carlin...
People think hockey is a sport. Hockey is not a sport; hockey is three activities going on at the same time: ice skating, playing with a puck, and beating the shit out of somebody. Another reason hockey is not a sport: it's not played with a ball. Anything that isn't played with a ball can't be a sport. Hockey is played with a puck. What is a puck? I've never even heard of a puck outside of hockey. Have you ever heard of a puck? The only other place you'll find a puck is in the urinal to control the smell in the bathroom. And as far as I'm concerned, any game where the main object is something that came out of a urinal is definitely not a sport.
Something happened the other night during a broadcast of a Nashville Predators game, however, which made hockey watchable for about five seconds. That's right, it was the sound of porn. Over the sound of the crowd, the action, and the commentators droning on about god only knows what, the unmistakable sound of a woman having an orgasm could be heard loud and clear.

According to CBS Detroit (link below), Jim Diamond, who covers the Predators—wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more, say no more—tweeted that he heard something unusual during the broadcast and these two Vines more or less confirm that he wasn't hearing things. There's no indication whether this was a broadcast problem or if the commentators were just watching porn while the game was on and the sound bled into their mice, but it's far and away the most interesting thing to happen in hockey since they banned the mullet.

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