"Conspiracy Theory" with Frank Finkle (Student Loan Debt)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*

I'm Frank Finkle and this is my Conspiracy Theory.

Is STUDENT LOAN DEBT a form of slavery?

My guest today is Dr. Thompson from the Good Burger restaurant next to Muary's House of Bagels.

Thank you for coming Dr. Thompson.

It's an honor to be here on your blog, Frank.

So, what are your credentials, by the way?

I have a degree in Physics for MIT, a Masters' at Yale in Engineering, an undergrad from...

Hey, do you have those Chicken Bacon burgers here?

Yes...an undergrad from..

Does it come with a milk shake or a soda?

A medium soda and an apple pie...my undergrad from...

So, what if I want a lemon pie? Can I get a lemon pie?

We only have apple!

Ok, Ok, I'll have the apple pie and a Chicken Bacon burger with a diet Pepsi.

Diet Pepsi, huh? Why not get a regular Pepsi?

Whoa! That's living on the edge there Doctor. All that sugar will kill 'ya. Well, I don't need to tell you. You're a doctor.

Of Rocket Science, Frank!

Really?

Yes.

So, can you make a burger in space?

What?...Ah, no...no...heat doesn't rise in zero gravity and limited air. The raw meat alone would produce germs due to the thin recycled air and infect humans with unknown types of viruses. Space is more of a Slim Jim and Capri-Sun atmosphere.

Well, you heard here first everybody. If you stay in school, and make good grades, YOU TOO can know all sorts of smart stuff like that working a minimum wage job at Good Burger.

I was wrong...we have lemon. But, you can't have any....jerk.

"Conspiracy Theory" with Frank Finkle (Microwaves)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*

I'm Frank Finkle and this is my Conspiracy Theory.
Can microwaves control the weather?
My guest today is an expert on microwaves and how they operate, welcome Mr. Microwave.

Thanks...Hot Pocket?

Not right now, Mr Microwave, can you control the weather?

I can heat things up by making them cook from the inside out. Hot Pocket?

Not now, so if you were pointed at the sky, what would happen?

You mean from your house?

yeah.

Nothing..I guess, you would get cancer from holding me up to the sky maybe...Hot Pocket?

No! What if I had a satellite and pointed you down?

The heat would come in contact with the cold air pockets in the air and create wind.

I knew it!

I'm not finished, then my microwaves would keep going and heat everything it came in contact with.

Ok.

So, if you think your satellite can cook the air, but won't cook everything else on the ground, maybe you should seek professional help... Hot Pocket?

Yes, maybe I will take one of those Hot Pockets.

"Conspiracy Theory" with Frank Finkle (Bio-Weapons)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*

I'm Frank Finkle and this my Conspiracy Theory.
Is the government stockpiling biological weapons for future wars?
My guest today is spokesman for the CIA, Tinkerbell.
Thanks for coming. I know there's some things you can't confirm or deny, isn't that right?


I can not confirm or deny that.


Yes, well isn't it true that America is moving away from nuclear weapons?


You have such a lovely studio here, Finkle...shame if it was to burn down.


Ok, Ok, I won't ask you about nuclear weapons. How about biological weapons?

What?... silly boy. What are those?...tell me everything you know.


Well I...


Speak into my flower if you don't mind?


Well I...hey...why do you want me to speak into your flower?


Oh, no reason.


Yes, I think it's going to replace bombs that blow up buildings and just eliminate the people so crews can come in and steal their natural resources.


Hohohohoho, you're funny. Is your wife at home during the day?


Yes, why?


No reason.


Hey, you're not threatening me are you?

WHAT?... Mr. Finkle, I'm with the US government. We don't threaten people...Do you have any allergies?


That sounds like a threat to me!


Please calm down, Mr. Finkle. Everything will be alright...Is this blog on your computer and only this one?


Yes.


Excellent.


Ok, I'm calling it a day!


Do you mind if I see your computer after the blog is over?


Why?


No reason.