"Conspiracy Theory" with the (Stepford Wives Paradox)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*

I've just heard the weirdest Conspiracy Theory.
Do you think we're all part of the Stepford Wives Paradox?


"What on Earth on you talking about, Margaret?"


Are we in this feminist small town with our husbands hiding from the world filled with prejudices and fears and then if anybody wants to enter Stepford they're forced out because of our prejudice and fears?


"Is this about the interracial couple we killed the other day?


No, it wasn't that one.


"Was it the Jewish couple we murdered last year?"


No, it wasn't that one.


"Was it the Mexican couple we keep in the basement?"


No, Maria makes her meatloaf the way I like. I mean, we love our husbands, but want them all to be a completely different person.


"Oh that, well men are all beast who need to see the error of their violent ways."


Yes, they are horribly violent human beings, but...I don't know...we killed all those other couples to keep the town White and Protestant.


"Margaret?...you're not one of those Catholics are you?...You know what we do to Catholics in Stepford."


Yes. Forget I said anything.


"You better tell Maria to make room for you in the basement, Margaret."


I'll have the meatloaf with potato salad, Margaret.

"Conspiracy Theory" with Frank Finkle (Male Identity)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*

I think it's time for our 1:30 meeting.


Listen, I want to talk to you about your job around here on Conspiracy Theory.
Is your male identity based on your JOB?


"Why do you say that?"


Well, I notice you don't take the make up off at the end of the sketch.


"Is somebody complaining? Was is Susan?"


No. I just think this blog might be mentally disturbing to you if it was taken away.


"Taken away?"


Yes, maybe you should have some time off for awhile, so you can rediscover your own perspective and place in the world.


"Are you firing me?"


No. I wouldn't say that...you don't have any guns do 'ya?....anyway, you're not fired. Ok...good.


Now, let's have that 2 o'clock we scheduled for today.


Hey, buddy! Love seeing you!


This isn't about being on your stupid blog show is it?

"Conspiracy Theory" with HEMLOCK GROVE (Japan Pop Culture)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*

You know what gives a clown nightmares, deary?...Conspiracy Theory.
Like the question, is POP CULTURE the reason why marriage and birth rates are down in Japan.
To talk about this interesting Conspiracy Theory is a star of his own films for 60 years now, the man himself, Godzilla!


Arigato, Arigato.


Now, Godzy. Can you tell me why there's so many cartoons and television shows that gives men a distorted image of women in Japan, deary?


Ahhhh, do you mean the mini skirts or the bland submissive drama characters?


How about the music groups, don't forget those.


Ahhhhhhh Yes, I forgot the music. School girls dancing in a music video with perfect form, yes?


I'm glad you said that word...perfect.
Is Japanese pop culture giving men a image of perfection of women that no real woman can compete with and in turn they stop talking to real women and revert to the imaginary ones?

Ahhhhh It sounds like you've given this topic a lot of thought, clown.


Nope.
Not really, I'm just making up most of it.


Ahhhh, I see. Have you ever been to ahhhh Japan?

No.


Ahhhh, Japan is different then the west. We have our ahhhhhh ways of doing things.

You mean, the women at Burger King showing you pictures of vaginas?


Ahhhhhhh I can explain that.

What about the woman who made a sculpture of her vagina and showed it in the park?


Ahhhhh I can explain that.

What about the 70 year old man who's famous for doing porn movies?


Who Yoshi? Ahhhhhh!


Look, what can America do to help improve Japan's low birth rate?


Well...Yoshi needs more ahhhhh coco butter. And throw in some of those Beyonce' videos. Yoshi ahhhhh likes those. Ahhhhh, yeah.


I'll get right on it...not Yoshi, of course....but the coco butter.

Haha, a porn joke. Nice.


I don't get why they put so many "Ahhhh's" in this sketch. Who's writing these shows, a 12 year old how's afraid of clowns? I hate that Hemlock guy.

"Conspiracy Theory" with Hemlock Grove (Burkini)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*

I've got an excellent Conspiracy Theory for you, deary.
Is France using the BURKINI BAN to wage war on the Muslim religion?
My guest on my first show is the star of Mulan.
Ladies and gentleman, Disney's princess, Mulan!




Is something wrong?


Na....na...No...Are you a clown?


Yes, do you have a problem with that?


I'm afraid of clowns.


There's no reason to be afraid of me, deary.
I'm just a man and or woman under all this make-up. Don't tell me you're bigoted against me because I happen to be dressed as a clown?


I've had a very bad experience with clowns as a child.


I'm so very sorry, deary.
But I hope you don't blame me for the action of others. I'm not going to kill you.


Ok.


Nowww, what do you think about the French Burkini Ban?


Well, the French like to walk around with their breast hanging out. Burkinis is like telling the French they're all a bunch of barbaric heathens. Burkinis are modest and...


Arrrrrgggggg?


Please don't eat me.


Oops, I was clearing my throat. Never mind me.


Like I as saying, the women on the beach have free will, and they can choose to wear what they want. And to think to say "They are oppressed" is what people who hate them say who actually wants to oppress them.

Oh my, that was well said, Mulan.
Thank you for coming and helping me put away this crazy Conspiracy Theory.

You're welcome. Now can you get the Hell out of here before I call the cops.


I'm not sure about this one. Let's not give Hemlock another show.