You know what I like more than eating people?
I love a good Conspiracy Theory. In fact, I heard a good one the other day about if America is becoming more Marxist.
That's so weird, I had to look up what Marxism was.
"Your student loan bill is here, sir!"
I mean, I had to read it real good to see if America could ever be Marxist.
"Your 3 hospital bills are here, sir!"
Then I read again and again and I still couldn't make the connection.
"Your paycheck is late today, sir. It was a holiday Monday, remember?"
Marxism is the very opposite of American life, you know.
"Your job just called, they're laying you off until profits get better...sir"
Seriously, I'm a monster and all, but life is simple to me. I don't need to stay on land. But, the food is so delicious here.
"Hey, your wife just called and she wants a divorce, sir. You better hire a lawyer."
After years of working for Disney, I find a certain blissful existence in the swamp.
"Donald Trump sent you a note, sir. He's buying the swamp and turning it into a golf course."
Hmmm, maybe a little bit of something not American could be good?....HELP!!!!
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