"Conspiracy Theory" with Spider-Man (Halloween)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*

Before I end your life Spider-Man, I'm going to tell you a Conspiracy Theory about
HALLOWEEN!
Do you know why some people fear it?...Do you?
It's because people must acknowledge there was a time before Christianity.

Halloween is evil!


You see there was a Pope who converted Pagans in Europe centuries ago and put on the calendar two dates: All Saints Day and All Saints Eve.


Shut up! No there wasn't!


But later, the word Halloween was added by the Reformation religions that wanted nothing to do with Catholicism, and all mention of Saints had to go.


You're making this up.


Nooo. What's made up is a Conspiracy Theory about poison candy, razor blades in apples, Satanic rituals, and demons.


Then why do you wear a scary mask?


Why are YOU wearing a scary mask, Spider-Man?
That dates back before Christianity with the Celtics. It's really harmless once you look it up. Don't you have Google wherever you're from?

But, you are the villain here, right?


Technically, Satanist didn't burn witches for fun, or start the slave trade, or invented weapons of mass destruction...that was Christians.


What are you saying?...That I've been the villain all this time and you're the hero?


Why are we fighting?
I'll buy you a pumpkin latte and we'll talk it out like adults. What do 'ya say?

*This blog was brought to you by Starbucks brand coffees*



So, you say Disney owns the copyright to the Spider-Man name now?

That sucks.