We're proud to be giving you an interview with the great Howard the Duck. After years of being forgotten and thrown away as a Marvel character, you made such an impression in your cameo in Guardians Of The Galaxy they want to reboot you and give you a movie. What do you owe your success?
Success? It's those Generation X writers in Hollywood who can't come up with an original idea if you put a gun to their heads. But, thanks for the respect.
Hey, how many people read this blog, anyway?
This blog? I guess about 100 people a week.
Gez, no wonder my agent said I'm doing this for exposure. Anybody important read this crap of yours?
There's people who are going to read this blog from all over the world Mr. Duck.
Ok, all over the world. Listen that's what those Son-of-a-b*tches told me about that 80's movie I agreed to make. You know, that Howard wasn't me! They said "Michael J. Fox was what we're going for, Howard". So, they paid me and told me to wait for the residuals. You know that's code for "Go screw yourself"?
It wasn't as bad as other Marvel movies in that era. RED SONJA was a disappointment, CONAN 2 and 3 both flopped, and then FANTASTIC FOUR came along and really stunk up the theaters.
Thanks...I needed to hear that. Those Gen Xers keep bringing back crap from tv. I keep expecting Blossom the Movie, Benson the Movie, you know they been talking to Alf, right?
Alf? He was very popular in the 80's. I never watch his show.
If Alf gets a contract, I'm gonna start shootin'.
There was this show about a girl who was a robot. I forgot the name of it.
Robots were big back then.
The 80's was a simple time.
Oh yeah, you know what else they had in the 80's?...AIDS.
That's real simple for 'ya.
Look, I don't wanna go back to that time. No cellphones, no internet, no flat screen tv, no paying for fast food with credit cards, no donut war.
What? What Donut war?
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