Interview with Creature From The Black Lagoon (COMEDY)

Thanks for giving me this interview...ahh...what shall I call you?

Call me, Irving Greenberg.

Your name is Irving Greenberg? But, aren't you the...

The what?

Well, the creature from the Black lagoon.

Yeah, yeah, that's what they called it.


I just thought...you know...that you were Black.


Nope, they started calling it the Black Lagoon back in '35. After that a lot of women started coming around and one thing lead to another and...fun times. Fun times.

Well, you were in classic American horror movies. People were afraid of you, because thought you were going to turn them into creatures.

That's what they said. I really was trying to ask them where the donut shop was. I like donuts. And every time I walked up to them or came to their boat, they wanted to shot me. I tell 'ya, the 1930's was a bad time. But, I did love those donuts.

How many creatures live in the lagoon?

You mean people, you racist dick! We gotta disease. What are 'ya, stupid?


Oh, so is that why we call it the Black lagoon?

Yeah, it made 'em come to the movie. I mean, you're not gonna run out to see The Creature From The Jewish Lagoon. So, they got a White woman and put her in the middle of the lake. I'm in my trailer and somebody says "Hey, get Irving out here!"
So, I come out and do my thing, you know?

Why haven't we heard of you in 80 years?

I blame TV.

Do you get television in the swamp?


Yeah, me and some of the boys get together and head over to the Pizza Hut. What are 'ya, stupid?

You eat pizza?

Yeah, but I don't like those anchovies. Who's eatin' those things? I live in a swamp and I don't understand why you people eat 'em. What are 'ya, stupid?

Do you still call it the Black Lagoon?

Oh, after a few good investments, I bought it in '88. It's the Greenberg Lagoon, now. There's a Starbuck's down the street next to the Dunkin' Donuts. Every week I get a fee one, you know...Senior discount.

Do you get Social Security?

Yeah, but the mail man don't like to deliver to a swamp. So, Lenny gets it at his house.

Lenny the Werewolf?

No, Lenny Horowitz. He lives up the street. What are 'ya stupid?

Ok, thanks again for my interview Mr. Greenberg.

Yeah, yeah, is that a hotdog? Bring it over here.

#TheEichmannShow

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BylRdHm-efyhYjI2RVp1ejZJbkE/view?usp=sharing