Tuesday, August 9, 2016

"Conspiracy Theory" with Captain Canuck (Fake Royal Family)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*

Listen very carefully, there are people who want to stop me from tell you this.
I'm going to give you a Conspiracy Theory that even you obnoxious Americans can understand.
What if the British monarchy that we know is FAKE and the REAL British monarch lives in Australia and his name is Michael Abney-Hastings of Loudoun.

"Stop it right there!..sorry"

Ah yes, Captain Canuck. What a pleasant surprise. Why do you want to stop me from telling these Americans the truth? You see, it all happened in 1440 A.D. when-

"Canada is peaceful and accepting country and I won't let you bring dishonor to our...ok, we have a Parliament that makes all the decisions, but, the Queen is on our money...sorry"

Hmm, and what if I just tell them it should be a King? In fact, he's in the phone book, let's call him up. He lives in Jerilderie.

"No! Everything depends on everyone believing the lie, so we can sell magazines and movies and t-shirts and stuff like that...sorry"

We can just change it.
Here...this is a picture of him.


"Stop it!"

All I'm saying is Canada and England will have to, from time-to-time, visit Jerilderie and see what the REAL King of England looks like with his daughters and grandchildren. Shake his hand...He might even knight you if you ask him.


"Wait, what?..sorry"

He'll knight you. The REAL king of England who lives in Australia can make you a knight of Canada.


"Ah, why I am fighting you again?...Sorry."

(Two weeks later)

"He's dead?...sorry. But, I just found out about him two weeks ago."


"Wait a minute, he wasn't driving down a French road being chased by cameramen, was he?..No?"

"Are you sure?...sorry...well, could his grandson knight me? He can pick up a sword, can't he?"



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