Friday, May 27, 2016

"Conspiracy Theory" with Frank Finkle (Eminent Domain)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*

I'm Frank Finkle and this is my Conspiracy Theory.
Is Eminent Domain stealing land from innocent people for big corporations?
Before I start, I'd like to apologize to Maury at Maury's House Of Bagels for sending the Terminator to his restaurant to look for Sarah Conner. How was I suppose to know you had an employee named Sarah Conner working there?
What's the odds in that?

You did what?


Oh, my guest today is the legendary Mickey Mouse, ladies and gentlemen.


Yes, sir! Haha!..I'm glad to be here.


It was a harmless mistake you understand.



Haha! I make a few mistakes myself. Like that time I built Euro Disney. I never met a more miserable bunch of savages in my life.


I love Euro Disney.



Do you know how many houses I had to Eminent Domain to get that thing done?


How many?


None!...I'm Mickey Mouse, bitch. They gave me the land.


I heard you had to pay millions of dollars for that?


You heard that, huh? Haha! Did you hear it takes 40 Polish guys to screw in a light bulb?


No.


Well, it doesn't...it's 12...see that's what Eminent Domain gives me. The right to tell Polish jokes.


Ah, that's not that it does.


Hey, how do you say "Everybody's got Herpes" in Italian?


How?


Olive Garden.

See, Eminent Domain makes me the boss. And I do what I want.


What if people protest you, Mickey?


Plan B.


What's Plan B?


I'm not tellin' ya! Haha.


Ok, so you're saying Eminent Domain is bad?


Haha! I love it. Go get me one of those bagels will 'ya?


Maury's Bagels?


Yeah, haha! He's ok, right?


Yes, but Sarah Conner had better days.

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