My name is Frank Finkle...and this is....what's the name again? Oh yeah, Conspiracy Theory!
DONALD TRUMP: Is he out to take over the world?
Today we sit down and talk to Mr. Trump about my Cons..
"Excuse me, YOU don't talk to me, I talk to you."
I see, ah, well Mr. Trump...Are you out to take over the world?
"I employ a lot of people, Frank. Do you mind if I call you Frank? You know what, here's a thousand dollars so I can call you anything I want. Look, you remember the Scottish golf course I bought and those ingrates complained about it? I bought another castle to spite them."
Another one? We're you afraid of ghost?
"Excuse me, I employ a lot of people, Jimmy. I hire Mexicans, Blacks, ghost, you name it. I've got ghost working for me. They love me. You come to one of my golf courses and you will see happy ghost. Not the kind in Mexico."
"I'm sure most of their ghost are good people, but they're all killers and rapist."
"Bobby, all I'm saying is we don't need Mexican ghost coming across our border raping our White ghost and making half breed ghost babies."
I don't think they can do...
"Excuse me, I know all the world leaders names, Sammy. I know Ali Whats-His-Face, I know Kumar Something-Or-Other, I know Abadabadu."
Abadabadu?
"Yes, Abadabadu is a friend of mine. We talk to each other often. I'm huge in that part of the world."
What part of the world is Abadabadu from, exactly?
"You know what? That's a gotcha question. Don't give me gotcha questions, Ricky"
"In fact, how much did this house cost?"
$30,000 dollars
"Sold. I just bought your house. Now get out!"
But I didn't...
"Buy my book The Art Of The Deal. It's called a verbal contract, dumb-dumb."
"Are you a lawyer? You're not a lawyer are you? Are you going to tell me about verbal contracts?"
I'll need time to pack.
"Good. I got some Mexican ghost outside that can help you. They're good people. They love me."
Well, this might be the last of Conspiracy Theory until I find a place to live.
Donald Trump never answered my question if...
"Are you still here?"
I'm going, I'm going!
My name is Frank Finkle and this has been my Conspiracy Theory.
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