I'm Frank Finkle. And today I'm going to read some of your letters you my audience have wrote to me from time to time about my show...or my blog...or my show blog. I still haven't gave it a name yet.
Let's just call it "That thing I do before they sue me for copyright infringement."
Now, to help me read these letters will be Disney Owl from Winnie The Pooh.
Ahem, hello. The first letter is from Buttscratch, Texas:
"Dear Frank, why don't you do a show on Princess Diana and how she was murdered?"
Wow, that's a good one. I think I might do a blog on that one. What's the next one?
The next one is from Scumbag, Florida:
"Dear Frank, I hear a whole lot about MK Ultra and MJ16. Can you tell me about them?"
Hmm, I don't know what that is. I'll look into it. Next?
The next one is from Marijuana, Colorado:
"Dear Frank, I would love it if you did a show on Jack Ruby and the JFK assassination."
Those are oldies. Maybe if I run out of ideas. Next?
This one is from Urine, California:
"Dear Frank, when did all this conspiracy theory nonsense in America started?"
Well, as far as I know, the Joe McCarthy hearings in the 1950's were a witch hunt to find a boogieman called a Communist. Now, America being a country of under-educated masses didn't know what politics even meant, so whatever a bad guy would do, was called a Communist.
Then came the 1960's.
And that's when the full birth of all conspiracy theories came from.
That reminds me, here's one from Dumbfuck, New Jersey:
"Dear Frank, did Paul McCartney really die in 1966?"
Yes, yes he did.
He was killed by that same magic bullet that killed JFK. The bullet got on a plane, flew to London, found Paul McCartney in the phone book, knocked on the door, and shot him.
After that, they replaced him with an exact replica. Like, in that movie Revenge Of The Body Snatchers!
Hohohohoho! You're funny.
Thank you, I'm here all week...Try the bagels.
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