Hello, I'm Lou Finkle. And this is my Conspiracy Theory.
Do we have to fear Martial Law?
My guess today in the studio is the man himself, Marshal Law...hey where are 'ya?
I'm right here, Lou.
Where?
You can't see me?
No! I can't see you at all, Marshal Law.
Well, I'm always here. I've always been here...I think I know what the problem is. You see, some people refuse to see me. They can look right at me and never see me standing right there in front of them.
I don't know about that, Marshal Law. I mean, I have eyes don't I?
Hahahahaha...let me ask you a question, Lou? Are you a minority?
I never think of myself as one, but aren't we all minorities in a way?
Hmm, but you said you can't see me?
Yeah.
You're not a minority, Lou.
Minorities see me just fine. They've known me all their lives. It's other people...people like yourselves never see. I've been there the whole time.
Are you at Whole Foods?
Ah, that's not how I work. Maybe you're confusing me with the other guy...Major Dick. People like you are really afraid of Major Dick. But,for some reason you keep calling him by my name.
Look, I harass, annoy, intimidate, arrest, and order people around.
And what does Major Dick do?
He gets paid more to do it...he's a real dick, you know.
So, does that mean I'm a racist because I can't see you?
Hmm, are you going to eat that bagel over there? Is that a Maury's bagel? I love Maury's House Of Bagels. When I think Maury, I think bagels.
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