Friday, August 23, 2019

"Changing Expectations" with Sebatian Finkle

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*

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Good evening PEASANTS, as the writer of many critic reviews, I too have come to an insight towards movie trends. And the current trend is "Changing Expectations".
If you "expect" the actor to be one way, then "expect" the actor to not be that way at all.
For example:

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Okay, now tell us why you should play in our new SUPERGIRL movie?

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Well, I've been playing the part for 4 seasons on television. Doesn't that count?

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Notice how the "Actor" thinks they deserve something logical in an entertainment business. And that's when the trend begins:

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Our new movie will change thing up. For starters, your Super-girl suit is going to be superpowered by magic.

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You see, there's no such thing as lazy writers if you use the word MAGIC.

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I don't see how that would work. I mean, Supergirl is the one with the super powers, right?

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Not in the Disney inspired universe. We're changing her to a space alien who's really a spy sent to Earth to learn our ways and rule over humans.

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But, that's not a superhero! Why would you change Supergirl to be something she's not at all? Think about her fans.

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Justice League...no Supergirl. The Superman movies never once mention Supergirl. In fact, this movie is a commentary on why Supergirl doesn't have fans in the first place...So, you still want to audition?

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Okay, sure. What do you want me to do?

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First thing we need you to do is pretend you're a Black woman. Nobody wants to see blonde space aliens. And one more thing...how do you feel about showing a nipple?

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Why?....Why do they do it...why only ONE nipple? My name is Sebastian Finkle, and I am a movie critic.




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